I got sacked...
Last week I heard words I never thought I’d hear as a self employed person…”I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to sack you!”.
It was my first session with a new coach, someone I’ve not worked with before and was drawn to because I knew they’d push me and get me to the next level of where I need to be. So the last thing I was expecting was to be sacked!
Our first session, our first 15 minutes….
He sacked me as General Manager of the World! He reminded me that although I am driven to make the world a better, kinder, more loving place that is more unified, less judgemental and more compassionate that it is not my job.
My job is not to rescue everyone, to help everyone, to assist everyone in accessing their best available Self.
My job is not to right all the wrongs.
My job is not to even out wealth distribution so that everyone around the world has access to clean water, food, health care and shelter.
My job is not to save the environment, clean all the pollution, save our seas, rivers, mangroves and swaps.
My job is not to stop all the wars, all the injustice, all the racism, sexism, gender inequality, phobias, abuse cycles, trauma and broken systems.
It is not my job!
No wonder I was feeling an oppressive burden on my shoulders, a fear of my voice, a heaviness and dampness that made me feel like I was failing and constricted. He was 100% right, I was trying to do too much, tackle the running before the walking, doing it all at once rather than taking the next best step.
Do I want all the above? Absolutely YES! And more!
So what is my job? Where can I best be of service to allow at least some of the above, lofty, expansive, huge goals to manifest into reality?
I can start with the first best step.
I can lead in my own life with love, non-judgement, acceptance and compassion.
I can live in my truth and do no harm.
I can live and work honouring my truth, my values, my creative genius and my sovereignty over my own life.
I can acknowledge and respect the autonomy and freedom of choice for all sentient beings.
I can be in Divine Service to others and touch whatever lives I can with love, compassion and non-judgement.
I can ask questions, and keep asking questions - not necessarily to find answers (of which, in my opinion, there are very few definitive answers to any deep question in this world), but to start conversations, to listen deeply, feel deeply and gain a new depth of understanding for myself and others.
I can create and nurture connection and unity within my relationships.
I can set strong boundaries and enforce them when other people disrespect my values and other people or move into belittling, name calling and dehumanising instead taking a stand for unity, love and compassion.
I can be the best version of me - constantly learning, unlearning and relearning as I find new ways, new information and new awarenesses that enhance my life and expand my world view.
I can share my voice with authenticity and courage.
I can listen to my heart and soul and choose the next best step, the next best thing, the next authentic move.
So, as I continue to work towards transitioning our of the role of General Manager of the World, I declare this oath to myself:
“I release the oppressive burden of perfectionism with compassion and become a clear channel of creativity”.
What does that mean in practical application?
I can use it as a reminder to release the need to be perfect, the need to people please and make sure that everyone else is happy - a sure sign I’m playing out my shame of not being enough or being unworthy. I can embrace the fact that in any given moment I am doing the best I can with the tools and knowledge I have available to me at the time. I can then welcome in compassion for the Self that wants to save the world, but take the big picture, make it smaller and more achievable and just take the next best step. I can bring those macro dreams and goals into my micro world and be the pebble in the pond creating waves that may influence others to then take their next best step.
As the burden becomes lighter, I feel myself breathe more easily, I feel a lightness return to my body and I feel like the way ahead becomes clearer rather than murky.
Will I give up my dreams of a better world? Never.
Will I stop pushing myself to saving the entire world and universe? I can only promise to be a messy work in progress with this one. I will however, continue with my oath and reminder to Self, keep working on my shadows (and learning to love and accept them) and I will promise that I will work towards just taking that next best step.