International Women's Day 2019 - Balance for Better

Today on International Women's Day 2019, I am reflecting on my own journey as a woman.

Brought up with conflicting beliefs about it being a man's world, yet that we as women could achieve whatever we set out to achieve, I struggled to find my feet. Through emotional and sexual abuse at the hands of relatives and ex partners, the resulting PTSD from complex trauma, and being unable to fully express myself for being constantly told I was too sensitive, needed to harden up and thicken my skin, I failed to bloom.

For years I sat in a wounded space - repressing, suppressing and hiding emotions away, only to have them explode in a Vesuvial fashion at inappropriate moments, I struggled to connect in the deep way that I wanted when most people were happy for superficial connection.

These days, I realise that my sensitivity is my super power. It allows me to hold space for my clients, to empathise with their situation, to stand in non-judgement and acceptance of their path, and most importantly, to tap into what makes me tick as a woman. It helps me to feel the depths of all my emotions, to acknowledge their existence and to validate their origin.

Today, I am grateful for every experience that has shaped my feminine journey. I am grateful to the abusers, to the friends that deserted me and couldn't cope with the emotional struggle that is PTSD.

I am grateful for every positive and negative experience - knowing that neither is actually positive or negative, it just is part of the duality of life. I am grateful for the dedication I have to personal, professional and spiritual development, to continue growing, evolving and changing as the seasons evolve and change.

I am grateful for my tribe - those strong, supportive, curious, kick-ass women who inspire me and give me love every day.

I am grateful for my children learning from me how people deserve to be treated, for them exploring their emotional selves and for their love and support.

I am grateful for my partner who loves me despite the challenging path on which I find myself, who supports me and holds space for me when I am split apart by the emotions coursing through my body, and who is the rock against which my wave can crash and find solace.

I spent many years with my wounded masculine self dominating my feminine, yet in developing my feminine side, I realised that I still was yet to find balance as my feminine decided that after years of repression it was time for her to dominate.

This last month, I have been bringing the two back into balance - to find the being in the doing, the doing in the being, to both give and receive in equal measure and to allow the masculine and feminine within me to work together rather than at odds.

This is now my work to bring into the world. And what a day to realise it!

Let us heal our internal masculine/feminine struggle, and then bring that healing into the world to help both men and women heal from their disconnect, to come together in balance and recognise that indeed #balanceforbetter is the way forward